How we work - information for children

We are David and Debbie Hawker and we are clinical psychologists.

We've met children who are happy, sad, angry, worried - and who have more complicated feelings. We help children feel OK about their lives and the places they live in.

We have worked with children who have lived in lots of different countries, especially third culture children (TCKs) who move between countries.

We've also worked in many different countries around the world. We might have been to your country - see where we have worked.

If you are a child you will usually see just David. But you may see both of us together, or David may see you while Debbie sees your parents. We'll talk about "we" on this page, because what we say is about both of us. And when we say parents, one parent will do.

We live near Nottingham in England and we have one son.

You might come to see us in our house, or you might speak to us on Skype or Zoom or meet us somewhere else.

Who will I come with? If you come to see us, you'll normally come to our house with one or more of your parents and perhaps other people in your family.

Why am I seeing you? Sometimes we see children just to find out how they are, when you've come back to the UK for a short or a long time. Sometimes we see children because you have something you need help with - or your parents think you do!

How long is the appointment? The first appointment usually lasts between 1 and 3 hours. Three hours seems like a long time, but we know you might have come a long way and might have a lot to say. If three hours is too long, we'll finish earlier.

Who will stay with me? We might see you together with your family for the whole time. Or we might see you without your parents for some of the time. It depends what's best for you and your family, and what you're OK with. If we see you on your own, we agree that with your parents. They or someone else will be somewhere else in the building.

What do we talk about? We'll listen to what's important to you. We might talk about where you've been living and where you're going to live. We might talk about your feelings and your family. We won't just talk. You might play with some of our toys or games (or yours) or do some art or craft. We'll do what helps you.

What happens at the end? We'll talk to you and your parents about what would be best for you. Sometimes we think you're fine and you don't need to see anyone for help. Sometimes we think there are things we could help you with, and you can talk to us again if you want to. Sometimes we think you'd be better getting help from someone else - maybe someone nearer to where you live.

What happens if I see you again?

How will you help me? If you come back to us for more appointments, we'll make a plan for how we can help you.

How long will appointments be? Further appointments will be shorter - usually up to an hour, between one and four weeks apart.

What will I have to do? We'll help you work out how you can make your life better. We might give you some challenges to do in between the times you see us. Children usually get better quicker when they try out new things in between seeing us.

What about my parents? We might talk to you and your parents together. Or we might talk to you and your parents separately. Parents are usually good at helping children with the things we ask you to do.

What if I have to change an appointment? Please let us know (or ask a parent to let us know) if you're going to be late for an appointment or need to cancel or rearrange it.

What if I live far away?

Remote appointments. If you live far away from us, we might talk to you by Skype, Zoom, Whatsapp, or another video call. This might be for our first appointment with you. Or we might Skype for other appointments after that.

With parents. If you're younger we'll talk with your parents for at least part of the time. They'll probably set up the call for you.

Without parents. If you're older, we might talk with you directly on your own Skpye address without your parents being there.

When video calls go wrong. We use video calls a lot. You might use it more than us. It's not perfect. We'll call you at the time we've agreed. If the connection drops, end the call and we'll call you back. Sometimes we have to turn the video off because the connection isn't good.

Keeping you safe. If a connection drops when you've told us something which makes us think you or someone else is in danger, we may need to tell someone who can help keep everyone safe before speaking to you again.

We keep private what you tell us, unlesss...

...unless you say we can tell someone else (like your parents or your doctor or teacher)...

...or unless we have to tell someone else to keep you or other people safe...

...or unless there are other reasons we can't keep it private - see our privacy policy.

What if we can't keep things private?

Telling other people. If we have to tell other people something you told us, we'll try to tell you and say why.

Parents. Sometimes your parents might want to know what you've told us. Usually we don't have to tell them everything you've said. We'll think about what would help you, and then we'll decide what we can tell them. Usually we'll tell them just what they need to know, and any challenges they might be able to help you with. We'll try and check with you that you're OK with what we say to them.

Supervision and training. We might tell other people who work with children about our work with you. That helps us - and other people - make sure we're doing a good job. If we tell other people about our work with you, we don't use your real name or anything else that would tell other people who you are.

Privacy policy. You can read more about how we keep things about you private here.

How do you keep my stuff private?

Notes. We take notes about you so we can remember what you told us and don't have to keep asking you all the same questions. If you ask to see what we've written, we'll show you unless there's a good reason not to.

Security. We look after your notes very carefully and keep them safe so other people can't get at them.

Keeping things private on Skype and email. Skype also isn't perfectly secure. Neither is Zoom, Whatsapp, or email. We might ask you to use more secure ways of talking about private things, like secure email, password-protected attachments, VSee or Signal. We don't use Skype chat to talk about private things if we can help it. Tell us if you have something private to send to us, and we'll tell you how you can send it securely.

Want to know more? See our privacy policy to find out more about what we know about you, what we do with that information, why, and what you can do about it.

What if I meet you somewhere else?

Because we work with missionaries, sometimes (but not very often) we meet children we've worked with in other places - like at church or a camp or conference.

If we've worked with you and meet you somewhere else, we won't talk about the work we've done or the fact you've done work with us. If we already know you from somewhere else, we might not be able to work with you.

We won't google you or look at anything your family has put on the internet (unless they ask us to). We won't accept friend requests from you on Facebook or other social media.

It's nothing personal - we're not being rude. We know that it can be awkward meeting someone who knows private things about you. So we keep those things private.

Read our full information for clients to find out more. Ask an adult to explain if there's anything you can't understand. Or ask us when you see us. Or ask a parent to contact us with your questions.